Our Hawaii trip or how I manage to find time for myself on a family vacation with a toddler

A couple of weeks ago we came back from a trip to the beautiful Hawaiian islands, Kauai and Maui. We went 3 of us - my husband, our 3 year old daughter and I. We really enjoyed the beauty of the islands, the weather, warm blue waters of the ocean and a good balance of relaxing time and exploring.

In Kauai, we stayed in Princeville, very close to Hanalei Bay. It is a quieter and less touristy northern part of the island, which we really liked. And one of the nicest things about our stay there was to wake up every morning to the view of the sunrise from our bedroom and to enjoy the breakfast right by the ocean on our cliff-side terrace.

In Maui, we stayed at the residences in the Wailea Elua village, surrounded by some high-end hotels and beautiful and kid-friendly beaches. The extra bonus there was our gorgeous terrace where we could watch sunset every night. There was also a 3+ mile paved path along the beach there, which was ideal for long walks.

Traveling after having kids: vacation or burden?

My husband and I always loved to travel and continued exploring the world after our daughter was born. I won't deny that our vacations look a bit different now. We also have decided to save some of the destinations that we would like to visit for later when our daughter is a little older. But we still do our best to include the things we truly enjoy in our trips, such as hiking, long walks, and other outdoor activities. Luckily, there are plenty of things nowadays that make this activities with kids easier - light travel strollers, hiking backpacks and all sorts of other baby and toddler carriers.

What is not always easy to do on a family vacation with a kid is to find time for yourself. It is especially true for people like me, who sometimes find it harder to relax than keep on going. When you are a busy mom, juggling multiple priorities, such as time with your family, full-time job, your hobby, exercising, social life, etc., it is hard to slow down. I often have an urge to squeeze a lot of activities in a day. Then I end up needing more rest after my vacation than before. But this time I was able to slow down, breathe and relax. And having a child definitely teaches you a lesson or two about patience.

I am sure you've heard people saying that traveling with a child 'is no longer a vacation for parents', 'is different', 'is all about the child' or 'is very limited in what you can do.' To some extent, of course, it is true. But in my experience it gets easier over time. You get to a new place, create your new routine and take the most of your vacation.

How do we find time for ourselves?

I am grateful that my husband shares similar need for quality personal time on vacation. Specifically, he knows that staying active and exercising is super important for me even on vacation. I don't need to go to the gym or do my regular workout every day when on vacation, but I feel much better if I have 30-60 min a day for a long swim, long walk or a fitness class, or maybe a massage treatment. Similarly, he likes to go for a run or do a longer and tougher hike on his own every now and then. We do our best and make this happen for each other. We know that this will make us feel better and enjoy our time together even more.

Here are some of our rules:

Pick the time during the day when it is easier for the other parent to be with a child solo, such as early in the morning, during nap time or when it's easier to engage a child in some activity. For example, I try to do my longer swims shortly after we get to the beach. At that time our daughter is not yet tired and can play on the beach or build sand castles for a longer stretch of time.
Make sure each parent has an opportunity to get their personal time. If there is only one 30-min time slot during the day when one of the parents can do something, alternate the days so that everyone has a chance for their personal time.
Show your appreciation. When you come back from your activity, give the other parent some rest time. It might be stressful to be with a child alone outside of home.
Enjoy your time with your child. After all, being with your child when the other parent is doing something else is also a great opportunity for your bonding one-on-one time. Don't forget that it can be tiring to be all together 24/7. So this can actually be a nice break for everyone.

And here is what my husband and I managed to do individually on this trip to Hawaii:

Long swims in the ocean or in the pool for about 30 min a day (me)

Oceanfront yoga class and bootcamp class offered by the nearby hotel (me)

Running along the beach (my husband)

We also love to include active outdoor activities for all of us to do together as well as our individual activities. This time in Kauai we did a longer gorgeous hike to the Hanakapi'ai beach along the Napali coast. It's a part of an 11-mile Kalalau trail with amazing views of the ocean, coastal cliffs and lush tropical nature.

We also did a few shorter hikes on our way to Waimea Canyon in Kauai and on the way to Haleakala Volcano and road to Hana in Maui.

And of course we had a lot of fun on the beach - beach play and building sand castles, buggy boarding and beach strolls.

Hawaiian cuisine: not my cup of tea

While we were impressed with the natural beauty of Hawaii, I couldn't say the same about the food there. I'm not a huge fan of tacos and burritos in general, and I felt like this was the most common option everywhere. The other options included some staples of American restaurants, such as traditional salads or entrees, accompanied mostly by regular jasmine rice and basic veggies. While there were quite some fish options on the menus (such as poke, of course, and fish entrees) , I can't say that I was overly impressed by what we've tried.

Both in Kauai and Maui we stayed in the places with a full kitchen. And in Maui we also had a gorgeous big terrace with a grill. So we were very happy to start a day with a breakfast on the terrace, breathing in some fresh ocean air and enjoying the view of the ocean, or to finish a day with a 'homemade' dinner in gorgeous sunset settings. We also ended up grilling a couple of times for lunch while our daughter was taking a nap.

I get quite tired of eating out all the time for many days in a row. Being able to cook or make food in our apartment really made a difference for us. It definitely adds a lot of convenience, especially when it comes to feeding our daughter. It gives me more control of what we eat and makes me feel better about eating healthier food. On top of that, having an outdoor space, let it be a balcony or a terrace, can be a great way for parents to have a 'date night' while on vacation with a child. Put your kid to sleep, grab your wine glasses and enjoy star gazing together.

Eating in on vacation also makes me appreciate and enjoy eating out more when we do go out. I prefer eating out to be an experience rather than just a way to satisfy hunger. That is why I'd rather eat out less but do it in a more special and unique setting. And we did have quite some unique dinning experiences in Hawaii, such as a delicious dinner with a gorgeous sunset at St. Regis hotel in Kauai, or a fun-filled dinner experience with a traditional Hawaiian pig roast and beautiful Hula dances at the luau dinner in Maui.

Hawaii, we'll be back!

All in all, we really enjoyed Hawaii and would really like to explore the other islands. While this destination was new to us, the way we planned and approached our vacation was not. We did a lot of great activities and visited a lot of beautiful places, but also were able to relax. We did things all together but also had quality personal time. We stayed active and ate healthy. And we came back with a lot of memories and no guilt of overindulgence or an urge of going on a detox.

How do you manage to relax when traveling with kids? I would love to hear from you and learn some new tips!